Guidance Counselors
Our guidance counselors and teachers have a tough task. Their ever changing job description ranges from helping you iron out your schedule from year to year, identifying strengths and weaknesses and helping you make compensatory decisions, speaking to you and your parents about college, work or vocational decisions, identifying a crisis and getting that crisis managed and so much more. It's a lot.
I had great guidance counselors. I have nothing but praise for them but then, I made it easy for them. I didn't really complain, I didn't argue or fight with them. I just did what I wanted.
There was a point in time, when I was 10th grade, I decided that the English class I was in was not just too easy for me but way too easy. I was a voracious reader and we had yet to read a book in class that I hadn't already read. I was getting 100s without doing work. My writing was way above the average for the class. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prodigy or anything and the class wasn't remedial. It just happened that at this point in my development, the class was not meeting my needs..
I'm sure that in a perfect world the teacher might have seen me doodling or napping or doing work for other classes during his. We see the meme's with the super observant teachers who catch that all the time. The bored kid. But the reality is, classroom teachers have a lot to contend with, so the kid who's not failing, not disruptive and not speaking up about being bored will likely slip off their radar and who could blame them?
Some kids may have spoken up, others may have told their parents. My solution? I went to the band room every day for lessons or to practice in a practice room during that class, only showing up for quizzes and tests.
Still carrying the top grade in the class, my teacher came to the band room one day and found me in a practice room. We stepped out to the hall where he calmly advised me that he wasn't writing me cut slips. But he did make an appointment with the guidance counselor to have me put into a more challenging class. The reason I didn't get cut slips? Aside from the grades being top in class, I wasn't out at McD's or Higbie Heroes. I was in a practice room practicing my main passion, my flute and/or the piano.
Here's the thing though - at the end of the day hindsight is 20/20. If I could do this again, I would have gone to the teacher and told him what was up. I wasn't a child, I was a 15 -16 year old who could articulate fairly well. I just didn't want to be told "No" so I never gave them the option.
The happy ending to this story is that I was bumped to the AP Class where I lived out the rest of my HS days - happily working like a beast to maintain above average grades.
I would say this to my 16 year old self. Don't be afraid to talk about what you need to be your best and highest self. In everything - In learning, In work, in play, in spirit, in relationship - everything.
I am learning that skill now. Some days are better than others. But I'm doing the work and it's paying off.
We have a saying in the Northeast - You don't ask, You don't get. I believe that. Even if you are asking the universe - the universe will deliver - it may not the be exactly what you ask for, but you will get an answer.
You know how I know? I sent a 15 year old student to competition this past week. The piece was nowhere near ready. At best, it was at a 90 out of 100. I threw it to the universe as I pulled out of her driveway this past Monday. I said please give her the appropriate score for the level of work she's been doing.
She got a 99.
But, asking the faceless, invisible universe is one thing. Asking a person is harder. A lot harder. Rejection is really hard to take and process for many people.
I learned this lesson when John got sick - because I had to. I'm less afraid now to ask for help than I used to be. But it took an earth shattering event to do it.
So, while the outcome of the English class situation was in fact the desired outcome, my teacher taught me a different lesson. I should have talked to him, to my GC, to my parents, not taken matters into my own hands. If it hadn't occurred to him to look in the FIRST place he thought I'd be, I'd have gotten detention for cutting. Which would have spurred the exact same outcome only with a lot more drama, and a death blow to my psyche because I've never had detention for any reason. I can tell you that it would not have computed to my 15 year old self that what I did was "cutting" and wrong. I got lucky with this teacher and I know that.
In short - ask for what you need but also for what you want. I didn't need my student to get a 99. I did WANT that for her. It's not selfish as some of us may have learned growing up.
Just be careful what you ask for.
I had great guidance counselors. I have nothing but praise for them but then, I made it easy for them. I didn't really complain, I didn't argue or fight with them. I just did what I wanted.
There was a point in time, when I was 10th grade, I decided that the English class I was in was not just too easy for me but way too easy. I was a voracious reader and we had yet to read a book in class that I hadn't already read. I was getting 100s without doing work. My writing was way above the average for the class. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prodigy or anything and the class wasn't remedial. It just happened that at this point in my development, the class was not meeting my needs..
I'm sure that in a perfect world the teacher might have seen me doodling or napping or doing work for other classes during his. We see the meme's with the super observant teachers who catch that all the time. The bored kid. But the reality is, classroom teachers have a lot to contend with, so the kid who's not failing, not disruptive and not speaking up about being bored will likely slip off their radar and who could blame them?
Some kids may have spoken up, others may have told their parents. My solution? I went to the band room every day for lessons or to practice in a practice room during that class, only showing up for quizzes and tests.
Still carrying the top grade in the class, my teacher came to the band room one day and found me in a practice room. We stepped out to the hall where he calmly advised me that he wasn't writing me cut slips. But he did make an appointment with the guidance counselor to have me put into a more challenging class. The reason I didn't get cut slips? Aside from the grades being top in class, I wasn't out at McD's or Higbie Heroes. I was in a practice room practicing my main passion, my flute and/or the piano.
Here's the thing though - at the end of the day hindsight is 20/20. If I could do this again, I would have gone to the teacher and told him what was up. I wasn't a child, I was a 15 -16 year old who could articulate fairly well. I just didn't want to be told "No" so I never gave them the option.
The happy ending to this story is that I was bumped to the AP Class where I lived out the rest of my HS days - happily working like a beast to maintain above average grades.
I would say this to my 16 year old self. Don't be afraid to talk about what you need to be your best and highest self. In everything - In learning, In work, in play, in spirit, in relationship - everything.
I am learning that skill now. Some days are better than others. But I'm doing the work and it's paying off.
We have a saying in the Northeast - You don't ask, You don't get. I believe that. Even if you are asking the universe - the universe will deliver - it may not the be exactly what you ask for, but you will get an answer.
You know how I know? I sent a 15 year old student to competition this past week. The piece was nowhere near ready. At best, it was at a 90 out of 100. I threw it to the universe as I pulled out of her driveway this past Monday. I said please give her the appropriate score for the level of work she's been doing.
She got a 99.
But, asking the faceless, invisible universe is one thing. Asking a person is harder. A lot harder. Rejection is really hard to take and process for many people.
I learned this lesson when John got sick - because I had to. I'm less afraid now to ask for help than I used to be. But it took an earth shattering event to do it.
So, while the outcome of the English class situation was in fact the desired outcome, my teacher taught me a different lesson. I should have talked to him, to my GC, to my parents, not taken matters into my own hands. If it hadn't occurred to him to look in the FIRST place he thought I'd be, I'd have gotten detention for cutting. Which would have spurred the exact same outcome only with a lot more drama, and a death blow to my psyche because I've never had detention for any reason. I can tell you that it would not have computed to my 15 year old self that what I did was "cutting" and wrong. I got lucky with this teacher and I know that.
In short - ask for what you need but also for what you want. I didn't need my student to get a 99. I did WANT that for her. It's not selfish as some of us may have learned growing up.
Just be careful what you ask for.
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