Tradition! Holiday Version
Christmas Eve is a unique holiday. It's technically still advent, at least til midnight, which is the period on the christian calendar of waiting and preparing. It's become it's own holiday, in effect. School is out by then. Most companies are either half days, closed or a skeleton crew. That affords it the "holiday" feel,
To me, it also feels like the culmination of the holiday season rather than the beginning of the Christmas season.
For me, the child of three working church musicians, Christmas eve was a frenetic dance of "who has to be at what church at what time", " how much time do we have to eat between services" and finally "We still need to open our gifts, so when do we fit that in?".
Oh right, you're probably wondering, why the gifts? My father's family is German. We do the celebrating on Christmas eve. Which explains why Christmas day is almost anticlimactic. We run around like manics on December 24 and by the time the 25th comes along - mostly we just want to eat and nap.
But I have to laugh, because as much as I swore up and down, that I wouldn't perpetuate this tradition, I unwittingly embraced it and continued it in a slightly limited fashion.
And I love it.
My grown up version of this tradition, is a bit less frenetic. And I am using the word, "tradition" loosely.
Typically, I work half a day - if at all. I spend my day, drinking coffee and wrapping the gifts needed ONLY for Christmas Eve while watching "White Christmas". Assuming they weren't already done, of course. I sit back and relax a bit and make my last minute to-do lists for that afternoon and the next day.
That taken care of, I get myself ready for my choir rehearsal. We have an early call, usually around 4, for our 530 Service. At one point when John and I first moved in together, we found ourselves in my early childhood trap of of doing his church at 530, then mine at 1030. Dinner was a very rushed affair - one year was even fast food ( I never lived that one down). We didn't spend time with friends and it felt like work. Dear Lord - we didn't even have kids! Could you even imagine?
Needless to say, ,that got old, very very quick. We ditched it after the second year.
The third year brought the death of Jen. She was now with my dad, so there was no pressing need to run around to two churches. I allowed myself permission to go to one church service. Blasphemy! I'm not conditioned for ONLY ONE! I have no training for this! And yet, I advised John, that this year we would be attending his church.
You can imagine his confusion. I am Anglican. He is an atheist. He was shocked. I have been a member of my church since I was 12. That church is a major piece of my life.
So surely you can see the problems unfolding.
By now, if you haven't already sat back, puzzled, I will tell you that my atheistic, then boyfriend, was raised in a Unitarian Universalist Church. I will not go into all the differences in the two faiths, but I will tell you that it is a welcoming faith that has no dogma and is more spiritual than religious. So I could be Anglican in a UU church but he couldn't be an atheist in an Anglican church. So while the decision was not easy for me, it was the right one for us.
So now back to being in the third year, one church service only and what will we do after? Jeannie and Panda invite us to join them for dinner. An invite out to dinner on a major holiday with people who didn't share my DNA? Blasphemy! I'm not conditioned for this! I have no training for this!
But we didn't blink. We looked at each other, back at them and said "YES" The rest as they say, is history. We've adopted and perhaps co-opted - their tradition to make it "ours".
So, services kick off at 530, after a quick dress rehearsal and some photos, wine and gift exchanges. Services are roughly an hour to an hour and half and are a lot of music, readings, sometimes a skit and a lovely candle lighting ritual.
Afterwards, the aforementioned dinner! Jeannie and Panda, Jake and Rebecca, Steph and Ronnie and me, all go out to dinner - usually at an Asian Restaurant ( Jeannie and Panda used to call that their version of the fishes and loaves).
Here's where the magic happens. We all sit together, order lots of food and many drinks and have our own celebration together. Stories, laughter, decomposing the service and laughing about everything and anything. The players sometimes change, but since John passed, it's pretty much these 6 or 7 core people.
After dinner, we hug and go our separate ways, crying " Merry Christmas" to each other over the cold night air ( except for that one unseasonably, weirdly warm Christmas.... ) and head back to our homes.
Once home, my tradition isn't over yet, and invariably it's still not Dec 25 yet.
Now I put on TBS and watch " A Christmas Story" on a loop, sometimes with a glass of spiked eggnog, or wine until I fall asleep.
This is a tradition that I have grown up with, but I have reinvented and shaped it to be more in tune with who I am now and how my life has shaped. I love this tradition and it's just frenetic enough to keep me hopping while not being so busy that I can't enjoy it. I get to spend it with my chosen family and spend Christmas day with my DNA family. I get the best of all worlds. I spend these days with the people I love.
What are some of your Christmas Traditions? Do they honor who you are?
To me, it also feels like the culmination of the holiday season rather than the beginning of the Christmas season.
For me, the child of three working church musicians, Christmas eve was a frenetic dance of "who has to be at what church at what time", " how much time do we have to eat between services" and finally "We still need to open our gifts, so when do we fit that in?".
Oh right, you're probably wondering, why the gifts? My father's family is German. We do the celebrating on Christmas eve. Which explains why Christmas day is almost anticlimactic. We run around like manics on December 24 and by the time the 25th comes along - mostly we just want to eat and nap.
But I have to laugh, because as much as I swore up and down, that I wouldn't perpetuate this tradition, I unwittingly embraced it and continued it in a slightly limited fashion.
And I love it.
My grown up version of this tradition, is a bit less frenetic. And I am using the word, "tradition" loosely.
Typically, I work half a day - if at all. I spend my day, drinking coffee and wrapping the gifts needed ONLY for Christmas Eve while watching "White Christmas". Assuming they weren't already done, of course. I sit back and relax a bit and make my last minute to-do lists for that afternoon and the next day.
That taken care of, I get myself ready for my choir rehearsal. We have an early call, usually around 4, for our 530 Service. At one point when John and I first moved in together, we found ourselves in my early childhood trap of of doing his church at 530, then mine at 1030. Dinner was a very rushed affair - one year was even fast food ( I never lived that one down). We didn't spend time with friends and it felt like work. Dear Lord - we didn't even have kids! Could you even imagine?
Needless to say, ,that got old, very very quick. We ditched it after the second year.
The third year brought the death of Jen. She was now with my dad, so there was no pressing need to run around to two churches. I allowed myself permission to go to one church service. Blasphemy! I'm not conditioned for ONLY ONE! I have no training for this! And yet, I advised John, that this year we would be attending his church.
You can imagine his confusion. I am Anglican. He is an atheist. He was shocked. I have been a member of my church since I was 12. That church is a major piece of my life.
So surely you can see the problems unfolding.
By now, if you haven't already sat back, puzzled, I will tell you that my atheistic, then boyfriend, was raised in a Unitarian Universalist Church. I will not go into all the differences in the two faiths, but I will tell you that it is a welcoming faith that has no dogma and is more spiritual than religious. So I could be Anglican in a UU church but he couldn't be an atheist in an Anglican church. So while the decision was not easy for me, it was the right one for us.
So now back to being in the third year, one church service only and what will we do after? Jeannie and Panda invite us to join them for dinner. An invite out to dinner on a major holiday with people who didn't share my DNA? Blasphemy! I'm not conditioned for this! I have no training for this!
But we didn't blink. We looked at each other, back at them and said "YES" The rest as they say, is history. We've adopted and perhaps co-opted - their tradition to make it "ours".
So, services kick off at 530, after a quick dress rehearsal and some photos, wine and gift exchanges. Services are roughly an hour to an hour and half and are a lot of music, readings, sometimes a skit and a lovely candle lighting ritual.
Afterwards, the aforementioned dinner! Jeannie and Panda, Jake and Rebecca, Steph and Ronnie and me, all go out to dinner - usually at an Asian Restaurant ( Jeannie and Panda used to call that their version of the fishes and loaves).
Here's where the magic happens. We all sit together, order lots of food and many drinks and have our own celebration together. Stories, laughter, decomposing the service and laughing about everything and anything. The players sometimes change, but since John passed, it's pretty much these 6 or 7 core people.
After dinner, we hug and go our separate ways, crying " Merry Christmas" to each other over the cold night air ( except for that one unseasonably, weirdly warm Christmas.... ) and head back to our homes.
Once home, my tradition isn't over yet, and invariably it's still not Dec 25 yet.
Now I put on TBS and watch " A Christmas Story" on a loop, sometimes with a glass of spiked eggnog, or wine until I fall asleep.
This is a tradition that I have grown up with, but I have reinvented and shaped it to be more in tune with who I am now and how my life has shaped. I love this tradition and it's just frenetic enough to keep me hopping while not being so busy that I can't enjoy it. I get to spend it with my chosen family and spend Christmas day with my DNA family. I get the best of all worlds. I spend these days with the people I love.
What are some of your Christmas Traditions? Do they honor who you are?
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